What’s in a name? For many businesses, its name helps tell potential customers what they’re doing. A name can help prepare customers for the kind of atmosphere or level of quality they expect. Sometimes they’re just jokes, funny word games, or names that characteristics of spelling errors. And of course, some of them include terms that – taken in a certain way – can mean something a little racy or extremely graphic.
Whether it’s purely accidental, utterly intentional, or something only childish minds like ours deem to be somewhat related to sexuality, the Milwaukee Metro is home to its fair share of businesses with… let’s call them “suggestive” names. . Here are some of our favorite picks.
Just outside of Milwaukee, a West Allis butcher’s shop specializes in “old-fashioned goodness that you can’t beat!” Becher meats is either pronounced “Becker” or (more likely) it’s the light trade name of a protein owner whose last name sounds like “Beat-chur” who leaned on the semi-suggestive pun. We’ll just assume it’s the second and ask you not to tell us otherwise. The company also gets bonus points for being on 69th Street. Pleasant.
Laundry at large charge
If there is a business that has a “big load” in its name, we’re happy it’s a laundromat. Surely there were no dirty intentions when it came to naming this clothes cleaning operation. Again, Laundry at large charge (which has locations on Keefe Ave. and Capitol Dr.) is kind of a funny name. We surveyed a local middle school and its students overwhelmingly agreed.
Could there be a better name for a local gay bar than TEN? You’ll have to read on to find out, but this great waterhole in the heart of Walker Point has an equally great name.
Slurp -N- Burp
Ever heard of a word (or collection of words) that just makes you feel a little … off, even though there’s technically nothing about it that’s specifically dirty or disgusting? The inventors of words like “wet” and “panties” would be happy to know that there is a so called “Fun Bar” in West Allis called “Slurp -N- Burp” whistles (
Grind your Duds
When you get a little too excited and ‘lather’ you might need to wash them in a place like Big Load Laundry or even Suds Your Duds. The seemingly prosperous laundry chain has distributed locations all around Milwaukee and West Allis proving that a business can be successful despite its somewhat suggestive name that immature writers / editors can twist to relate to premature ejaculation.
Dick’s Pizza & Pleasure
While preparing for this article, we learned the unfortunate news that Milwaukee Dick’s pizzeria / nightclub has apparently left. We don’t know if the pandemic is gone Dick’s Pizza & Pleasure financially flabby or if he just came (into town) and moved on, but downtown Milwaukee is now devoid of Dick’s.
Speaking of downtown businesses that are no longer… Hot Flash. The Wisconsin Avenue Mini-Market, which some people speculate got its menopause nickname due to being above a steam tunnel, recently underwent a name change to (arguably even more suggestive) In & Out. Find? Like… do it ?! Classic.
Until a few years ago the generally indented southwest suburb of St. Francis had a bar called “Liquor Box” (or “Liq-er Box” in some cases related to brand / social media. ). The bar had an illustration of a woman sitting on a gigantic tongue for his Facebook profile picture, therefore, it seems that the pun noted R was intentional or, at the very least, adopted by management. However, the bar with a name a crafty linguist found is now closed. The equally box-y, but far less offensive, Box Car Inn is now open in its place.
It might shock you to learn that a Vietnamese restaurant based in Milwaukee and West Allis called “Phở King” has been around (in two locations) for years, and that when the two-word name of the company is pronounced correctly, it sounds like the word “Fuck.” Sadly, the Vietnamese restaurant’s reign as Milwaukee’s best-named business ended in 2016 when it was changed to Phở Cali. Fortunately, when we investigated the rebranding five years ago, We confirm the food was always absolutely “Phở King” awesome.
The pump house
Before it produced polarizing beer and pub food like Horny Goat Hideaway, the bar on the corner of Becher and 1st was a bar and grill called The Pump House. That name surely had more to do with the property’s past life as a water pumping station than, say, boning or whatever, but it’s still pretty funny if you ask us. As we mentioned, the more intentionally rude Horny Goat Hideaway came after that. Today, the Bay View site – like most real estate available in Milwaukee these days – is home to a luxury apartment complex under construction.
We’re sure we missed a lot of suggestive names of businesses in and around Milwaukee. Let us know some of your favorites in the comments.